The Cotton Swab Christmas Tree
by schillingklaus
Summary: Christmas Party at Ridgeway School. Spencer is decorating the stage. Freddie/Sam,Nevel/Quinn,Spencer/Stacey,Carly/Dustin,Jake/Lola.


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**The Cotton Swab Christmas Tree**

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**Klaus Schilling**

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.de

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Rating: Teenagers

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Disclaimer: I don't own _iCarly Show_ or _Zoey 101_

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Disclaimer: I don't own _Mary's Boy Child_ by Boney M.

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Abstract

Family, Friendship, Spiritual, SciFi, Arts - Spencer designs a new decoration for Ridgeway's Christmas party. Stacey Dillsen is coming to help him. Carly is the Santa at a Christmas party. Nevel plans on ruining the event.- Spencer/Stacey, Freddie/Sam, Gibby/Reuben, Carly/Dustin, Nevel/Quinn, Jake/Lola

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**Dedication**

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The story is dedicated to _Angelus Silesius_

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_Though Christ in Bethlehem_  
_A thousand times be born,_  
_But not withing thee self,_  
_Thy soul shalt be forlorn._

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Table of Contents

**Preface** :  
**1. School Christmas Party Ahead** : :  
**1.1. Santa Carly** :  
**1.2. Start Spreading The News** :

**2. Preparing The Stage** : :  
**2.1. White Gluemas** :  
**2.2. Rue It Again** :  
**2.3. More Guests from California** :

**3. Surprises** : :  
**3.1. The Party** :  
**3.2. Conclusion** :

**A. Appendix** : :  
**Glossary** :

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List of Tables

**1. Characters** :

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**Colophon**

This story was written in the frame of the challenge _Decorating_ of the LiveJournal community _Groovysmoothie_.

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**Preface**

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Table 1. Characters

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#Carly Shay#iCarly#  
#Spencer Shay#iCarly#  
#Samantha Puckett#iCarly#  
#Fredward Benson#iCarly#  
#Nevel Papperman#iCarly#  
#Wesley#iCarly#  
#Reuben#iCarly#Boy in Carly's age in _iWin a Date_  
#Jonah#iCarly#Sam's boyfriend in _iHate Sam's Boyfriend_  
#Valerie#iCarly#Freddie's girlfriend in _iWill Date Freddie_  
#Gibby#iCarly#  
#Jake Crandle#iCarly#Carly's boyfriend in _iLike Jake_  
#Principal Franklin#iCarly#  
#Nevel Papperman#iCarly#Mischievous nerd in _iNevel_ _iRue The Day_  
#Harry Joyner#iCarly#Experienced artist in _iHeart Arts_  
#Quinn Pensky#Zoey 101#  
#Stacey Dillsen#Zoey 101#  
#Dustin Brooks#Zoey 101#  
#Lola Martinez#Zoey 101#  
#Zoey Brooks#Zoey 101#  
#James Garrett#Zoey 101#  
#Malcolm Reese#Zoey 101#Extremely successful Hollywood producer in _Spring Break-Up_

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**Chapter 1. School Christmas Party Ahead**

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Table of Contents

**1.1. Santa Carly** :  
**1.2. Start Spreading The News** :

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**1.1. Santa Carly**

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The pupils of Ridgeway were excited because Mr. Franklin had just announced the traditional Christmas party at their school. Their was a committee for the party that was responsible, among many other things, for determining the Santa.

"If Sam is the Santa," Freddie growled, "I'll miss the party and stay sick at home."

"Aw!" Sam replied sarcastically, "at home where your mom will measure your heat thrice an hour and you get all those bitter teas to drink!" She knew that Marissa Benson would suffogate her poor son whenever he shows the slightest signs of an illness. And Sam enjoyed taunting Freddie mercilessly with this.

Freddie was close to vomiting.

Sam grinned merrily.

"Shut it already!" Carly had to separate her catfighting friends. "I'd like to be the Santa! But there are many other esponsible tasks, such as caring for the illumination of the party hall." Carly looked at Freddie.

"I volunteer for emptying the containers with the party snacks!" Sam announced proudly.

Freddie and Carly were sure that Sam was optimally qualified for such a responsible task.

Jake Crandle came along. "Hi guys! I'll play at the Christmas Party."

"Are you also going to sing?" Freddie asked, trembling from dismay.

Jake wasn't yet sure. "I need someone to sing," he explained, "For, else, my number will be canceled and replaced with Mrs. Briggs bagpipe solo!"

Carly, Freddie, and Sam were close to vomiting.

Wesley came along, beatboxing all the way. He was also up to performing for the party.

The three stumbled upon Gibby and Reuben.

"Hi girls," Gibby told Sam and Carly, "we need someone to help us with the decoration, especially the tree."

"Are snacks allowed during the work?" Sam wondered.

"Sure!" Gibby replied.

"Then it's me!" Sam replied.

Reuben looked at his list. "That leaves Carly for the Santa, as Valerie has already turned it down!"

Carly cheered and bounced around.

Freddie smiled because his worst nightmares would not come true.

"Oh, I forgot to say ..." Reuben continued, "Freddie will assist Sam. Jonah can't ... for some reason."

Freddie moaned, passed out, and slumped mercilessly to the ground.

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**1.2. Start Spreading The News**

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The kids returned to Spencer's loft.

A woman of like twenty years had been helping Spencer with some electric wires and so on.

"Hi, kids!" Spencer greeted the teenagers, "as you know, my sculptures are often set on fire ..."

"Too often!" Carly sighed.

"This is Quinn Pensky from Ridgeway technical school. She's a whiz in engineering and will countercheck my sculptures for security." Spencer announced proudly.

Carly, Freddie, and Sam looked oddly at each other. They knew that it wouldn't hurt having anyone counterchecking, but that Quinn girl looked very chaotic. Was she anywhere near to trust?

"Spencie," Carly replied, "I have just been selected as the Santa for the Ridgeway Highschool Christmas party."

Spencer beamed. "Go, girl!" he screamed in joy. "You will be the greatest Santa ever!"

"I'll build up the stage decoration!" Sam moaned, "assisted by some hyperdork." Sam looked menacingly at Freddie.

Spencer remembered the boring stage decorations when he was still at Ridgeway school. "It can't be a normal stage decoration, it must be something ... supertastic!"

Sam agreed. "Maybe you could add some of your sculptures to the stage deco!"

"Oh, yeah, I sure will, and very much so!" Spencer beamed. "You remember my Merry-Sneezemas-Tree?"

The teenagers did remember.

"I've thought of some improvement," he said."I'll add some fantastic decoration made of something revolutionary, such as ..." Spencer had to think a bit. "Cotton swabs? A Christmas Tree made of snow-white cotton swabs,and white glue!"

"oh, yeah, noone else would think of that," Carly beamed, "except my adult brother Spencer."

Freddie and Sam agreed wholeheartedly.

Quinn sighed in dismay while she fixed another loose screw in one of Spencer's artistic robots. "I'm sorry to say that," Quinn interjected, "but the idea to build sculptures from cotton swabs is not very original."

Spencer sighed.

"Aw Spencie," Carly remarked, "it may not be original to use cotton swabs, but your sculpture will be great and original, whatever."

"If you say so, sis," Spencer shrugged. "But who is the genius artist that works with cotton swabs?"

Quinn moaned in disgust. "A girl from my boarding school, her name is Stacey. She lisps all the time, that's why we didn't like her."

"That's not a nice thing to do!" Carly looked disapprovingly at Quinn.

"Making me Sam's slave isn't nice, either!" Freddie growled.

Freddie punched Sam's shoulders. It was his first violent reaction for quite some time, although Sam had always treated him in such a way.

Carly stopped the bickering frenemies.

"May I contact that Stacey?" Spencer asked Quinn."I could use another great artist's opinion about my project! And Harry Joyner is currently in Rome, redecorating the _Sixtine Chapel._"

"I can't encourage you to contacther," Quinn replied, "but if you insist ... I'll help you find her."

Spencer agreed.

"I'll have to think about my role as the Santa," Carly boomed. "I'll give a cute speech, and then I'll distribute the gifts."

Sam nodded. "OK, by the way ... if Quinn is around, may she also countercheck the security of the stage mechanics and illumination? I don't trust Freddork."

Quinn nodded. "OK, this will work, let's turn the lights down!" she ordered Spencer after having fixed a few wires.

Spencer obeyed. When he flipped the switch ... Boom!!!

"Oops!" Quinn squealed.

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**Chapter 2. Preparing The Stage**

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Table of Contents

**2.1. White Gluemas** :  
**2.2. Rue It Again** :  
**2.3. More Guests from California** :

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**2.1. White Gluemas**

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"Hi, I'm Stacey!" some girl said with a lisp when Spencer had opened the door for her. "I've heard that you need my help!"

Spencer nodded. "We're going to decorate the stage for a school's Christmas party, all in cotton swabs!"

Stacey bounced around and cheered crazily.

"Not to forget the white glue!" Spencer remarked. "Snow white, in order to symbolise the virginity of Mary!"

"Which Mary?" Stacey asked.

"The Holy Virgin, of course," Spencer replied, it's Christmas, and thus I thought a nativity scene would be appropriate. And it will not be just a simple decoration for a school party, no, it will comapre with the nativity scenes of the great artists in history!

Stacey cheered again.

"We need to beat some of the greatest artists in the history of arts," Spencer swooned, "such as _Perugino_."

Stacey could not quite handle her excitement, and she collapsed, ending up in Spencer's arms.

"Oops!" Spencer shrugged. He carried Stacey to the couch in his loft.

Carly descended the stairway. "Spencer! can't you get girlfriends that walk on their own feet? Do you have to ..."

"That's not a girlfriend of mine," Spencer replied, "it's Stacey Dillsen, you know, the sculpture artist that is going to assist me."

"Oops!" Carly looked ashamed. Then she helped Spencer placing Stacey on the couch. She also tried to wake her up.

"I have made some great plans for the stage decoration for your Christmas party," Spencer said, "the manger, the Holy Virgin all in white coitton swabs, underlining the virginity, and , of course, a choir of angels."

"But Spencie," Carly moaned, "it's just a Christmas party at some school here, not a Roman basilica!" Alas, she knew well that she could never dissuade her favourite brother from accomplishing his lofty plans. "What are all those buckets in our kitchen? Sam thought it's some white vinegrette, but it didn't taste well."

Spencer laughed. "White glue, for our sculptures of cotton swabs."

Carly was annoyed. "And where are the cotton swabs?" A moment later, she knew that she didn't have to ask. Opening the bathroom, she was buried by a heap of packages of q-tips.

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**2.2. Rue It Again**

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Whipped by Sam, Freddie carried the buckets of white glue and the packages of cotton swabs to the stage. He moaned and bitched, but he followed Sam's sadistic orders.

"The illumination is OK, so far!" Quinn remarked. The previous accident notwithstanding, everyone trusted her. "This is one of my inventions, the greenscreen," Quinn noticed

Freddie moaned. "I've been using the screen for four years ...I know what it is!" Anyways, he was pleased to meet the inventor.

Sam interrupted Quinn's and Freddie's tech talk, reminding him of being her slave.

Spencer stood on a ladder. According to Stacey, it took a certain amount of seconds to wait for a drop of glue to dry. Spencer had to be very careful when he attached his swabs to the ceiling.

Stacey counted the seconds. "...4 Mississippi ... 5 Mississippi ... 6 Mississippi ..."

Suddenly, the screen activated itself.

A picture appeared, making Carly, Freddie, Sam, and Spencer startle. "Do you rue the day, Carly?" Nevel thundered, "Do you rue it?"

Spencer dropped a bucket of glue, unleashing its content on Stacey's head. He jumped down from the ladder in order to help Stacey.

"Who's that?" Quinn wondered.

Carly told Quinn about Nevel Papperman, the firstborn of Satan.

"He really showed you a picture of his brain?" Quinn wondered. "Do you want to see mine?" Quinn exposed her nostrils into Carly's direction. "What do you see? I have an IQ of ..."

Carly was disgusted.

"Do you rue it?" Nevel asked. "Who's that annoying lady?" Nevel wondered about Quinn. "You think you can put up with me?"

Quinn nodded solemnly. "And I have six toes on my right foot! Do you want to see my toenail collection?"

"Impressive!" Nevel was astonished. "But I bet you can't smell the brand of Carly'shampoo?"

"Shampoo is for losers!" Quinn squealed. She had been disgusted by her room-mates' cosmetic obsessions when she had been new at her boarding school. "But I may taste metals with my tongue!"

Nevel was impressed. "Whatever," Nevel added, "your Christmas party will be mere dystopia!" Nevel laughed hysterically before his picture and voice vanished into thin air.

Spencer was still occupied with Stacey. "That glue is sticky! I'll get you a shower with warm water, hope it helps ..."

"Before I forget it," Quinn announced, "My friend Lola Martinez will come to your Christmas party. She was my room-mate at the boarding school. My other room-mate Zoey can't come, though. But her little brother will come with Lola."

"How little is that little brother?" Sam wondered.

Freddie replied that he was too young for Sam, in any case. He earned an evil gaze for his snide remark.

Quinn told them that Dustin was not much younger than Carly and would probably like to hang out with the three.

They smiled happily while Spencer called Carly into the showers. "I forgot taht I'm a man and thus not allowed in the girls' bathrooms! Some girls don't take this lightly." Spencer moaned, showing the wounds that he had just received from Tasha, Shannon, and Tareen.

Carly was disgusted because she had to help Stacey, but she followed Spencer's orders.

"Lola Martinez? Isn't that the famous actress from Middle School Musical by Malcolm Reese?" Freddie asked Quinn.

"Yeah, she's up for Oscar elections, they say." Quinn confirmed Freddie who started swooning.

"Forget it!" Sam boomed. "No cute girl will ever like a dorkward."

Freddie sighed in dismay. But he figured it would be fun meeting Lola and Dustin, no matter what.

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**2.3. More Guests from California**

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Lola and Dustin arrived the next weekend.

Quinn introduced Lola and Dustin to Freddie, Carly, and Sam.

"We're already on vaction," Dustin explained. They had a shorter summer break, instead.

Lola was on a break between two movies.

Both Dustin and Lola had been watching the web show from time to time. Especially Dustin was happy when he saw his idols.

"Do you want to help us with our Christmas special?" Carly asked Lola and Dustin.

Lola and Dustin agreed unison.

Lola hoped to become more famous this way.

Dustin enjoyed being with nice people of his age, such as Carly. He even liked Sam as long as she was not bickering with Freddie.

Part of the Christmas special involved shooting videos during the preparation of the stage for the Christmas party.

"What is Spencer doing?"quoteDustin asked Carly who had just introduced them.

Carly smiled. "He's making the decoration for the stage, using thousands of cotton swabs and white glue. He's crazy, I tell you."

Dustin sighed in agreement.

Spencer smiled. His work had progressed fast because Stacey was a great assistant, her permanent bad luck notwithstanding. "It's done! A Christmas tree made of cotton swabs and white glue!"

Stacey cheered and hugged Spencer who almost kissed her in turn.

"I'm going to puke!" Carly moaned in disgust.

Dustin comforted Carly, making her feel all cozy and fuzzy.

Shirtless Gibby entered the stage, fixing everything for Jake who was going to practice with his guitar, yet without a singer.

Lola stepped up the stage and squealed. "You look like someone I know from my Californian school!" She told Jake.

Dustin wrapped his vest around Gibby.

"I guess you're talking about my twin brother James," Jake replied in a charming manner while he started to play the guitar.

"What a performance!" Lola praised Jake. "Why don't we sing to it?"

Jake shrugged. "Those ignorants say that I can't sing. What I do best is play the guitar and kiss."

Lola smiled. "I'm best at acting and kissing. But I don't believe that you're such a good kisser. May you prove it?" She played with her lips.

Jake grabbed Lola by the waist and pulled her in for a lingering French kiss that took forever.

"Aw!" Freddie told Sam. "The perfect shot for our Christmas Special! The Hollywood Star kissing our aspiring Rock star!"

Sam tried to look disapprovingly at her slave, but she had to agree.

Carly couldn't stomach Jake kissing another girl. She threw up right onto Dustin's trousers.

"You look really cute when you're about vomiting!" Dustin remarked, blushing deeply.

Nobody had ever made such a compliment for Carly. This made her blushing back.

Finally, Principal Franklin declared the stage ready for the party.

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**Chapter 3. Surprises**

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Table of Contents

**3.1. The Party** :  
**3.2. Conclusion** :

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**3.1. The Party**

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Finally, the party started. Principal Franklin gave a long sermon about the traditions of Ridgeway.

Carly's's task as a Santa was essentially the moderation of the party. She announced the various numbers. "Jake and Lola will sing a Christmas song based on a popular Caribic tune. Applause!"

Jake Crandle entered the stage, accompanied by new girlfriend Lola Martinez.

"I've coupled the accoustic engines to the red synthesiser, and the ..." Quinn explained unto Freddie who nodded approvingly.

Neither of them was willing to listen to the unpatched voice of Jake and Lola. With Quinn's new technology, voice patching was possible even for a live audience.

Lola and Jake started to sing

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_Hark now hear the angels sing a king was born today,_  
_And man will live for evermore because of Christmas Day._  
_Mary's boy child Jesus Christ was born on Christmas Day._

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The audience applauded. Jake and Lola used the short break in order to make out.

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_Oh a moment still worth was a glow, all the bells rang out,_  
_There were tears of joy and laughter, people shouted_  
_Let everyone know, there is hope for all to find peace._

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When singing these lines, sirenes started to howl. The cotton swabs of the decoration were set ablazing. The audience fell into chaotic panic. Once more, the green screen activated itself.

"I told you that you rue the day!" Nevel Papperman screamed."You rue it! It's dystopia, Carly!"

Stacey squealed in agony when she deemed her artworks burst into flames. She collapsed in Spencer's strong arms.

Spencer carried Stacey safely out of the hall.

Dustin, Sam, and Freddie caught the fire extinguisher, they needed to save Carly, who was still on her moderator's seat, from the flaming inferno that was about breaking loose.

"The fire isn't real!" Carly remarked.

Having examined the situation closely, Quinn nodded. "This is _St. Elmo's fire_! A phenomen of plasm electricity!"

Indeed, Spencer's and Stacey's stage decoration was unscathed. Nevel had been fooling them again.

Nevel came in through the back entrance. "Have you rued the day?"

"Wow!" Quinn stepped up to Nevel. "You've tricked me for a moment into falling for St. Elmo's fire, one of the most simple scientific illusions! Nobody ever got me there. Youmust be a genius."

Nevel grinned. "How about a short genius-only conversation, somewhere beyond the backdoor? The unintelligent folk here doesn't need to know ..."

Quinn agreed cheerfully. Finally she had found a partner with whom intelligent conversation was possible. "Do you know that many female spiders eat their brood?"

Nevel nodded and smiled when he disappeared with Quinn beyond the backstage door, talking about scientific pathologies.

Carly grinned when she saw the nerds vanish, but she was sad because she couldn't complete her tasks as a Santa.

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**3.2. Conclusion**

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Jake followed Lola straight to Hollywood. Side by side, they would be starring in Malcolm Reese's upcoming movies _Suzannah Louisiana - The Worst of Both Worlds_ and _The Naked Sisters Band_

Dustin had to go home to his sister Zoey for Christmas. He sighed. "I wish I could stay with you over the holidays."

Carly was sad. "We'll see us soon again, I hope." Her face went crimson.

They gazed at each other with puppy eyes.

"Aw, they won't start weeping, will they?" Sam remarked sarcastically. "I guess Dorkward may finally give up on Carly." She grinned.

Freddie shrugged. "Who cares? I know a girl that would be much better for me."

Sam laughed. "And who would that be? I've never seen any girl that would ..."

Freddie didn't allow Sam to continue her words. He pulled her in for a kiss. "You don't have to say anything."

But remaining silent wasn't Sam's style. "I've been waiting for this moment for five long years!"

Carly left the lovebirds on their own and went to Spencer who had to announce something important. "Carly, I know it will be hard for you, but ... when Stacey is through art school, she will move in with me."

Carly didn't mind anymore, as Dustin made her swoon too much to care about Stacey and her cotton swab decoration.

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**Appendix A. Appendix**

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Table of Contents

**Glossary** :

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**Glossary**

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**Angelus Silesius** : :

Polish-German mystic and court medic, 1624-1677

**Sixtine Chapel** : :

A Roman chapel where the popes are elected, a major work of renaissance arts.

**St. Elmo's Fire** : :

A low-energy plasma phenomenon that is often mistaken as a serious fire.

**Perugino** : :

Renaissance artist, properly Pietro Vannucci, 1446-1524. His nativity scene in the _Sixtine Chapel_ is not preserved.

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End file.
